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Posted by joel rosenthal on 09:53:12 04/24/09
Memo
To: Willaim Morris Agency
From: Loggerhead Kingbird
Bill: You might be wondering where I am these days, and why I'm not over at Fort Z.T. in Key West. Well, I'm gone,outa there, split, adios and sayonara. This gig was supposed to be a big hit, we were going platinum--instead you have me opening for a yellow faced grassquit! I mean, really-how low would you have me stoop for a buck? Where's the respect? Two years ago, I was the biggest thing on the continent-newspapers, radio and tv coverage, fans from all over North America filled this burg anticipating a flutter, a song or a glimpse of me.(http://www.tropicalaudubon.org/tasboard/messages/14750.html)
You told me, don't come back in '08, make em wait, we'll be a big at the gate in'09-the t shirts and cds would fly off the shelves---and so what did I get? a few spring breakers and a couple of geezers from Canada-that was it--nada, zilch, bupkus.And don't give me this recession bit either--there are people all over south florida willing to quit their jobs just to chase a stupid Kirtland's warbler that was a total no show!Gimme a freakin break!So I was a one shot wonder-not a lifer any more for all those suckers who came here two years ago--just another drab flycatcher, not even worth leaving happy hour on Duval Street to reconnoiter. I know it's tough in this business, but I wasn't ready to be dissed this badly. So I've gone somewhere where I can blend in, where no one cares who or what I am, and where anonymity suits me just fine-no press conferences, hair stylists, no entourage. You can all kiss my feathery rump! Hold my fan mail(right!), but don't hold your breath for a visit next year either.And besides, the banks ask no questions here in the Caymans.
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